Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm a Star...bucks commercial extra

So, here she is; the long-awaited update. You may want some food and water nearby for the long journey ahead. I wouldn't want you to become so hungry and dehydrated that you can't enjoy my cleverly recounted anecdotes. We have a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time, so here we go...

As you have read in past posts, I had been really stressed out about performing the classic Second City scenes. This was reinforced one day in class when Gellman kept stopping me and making me do lines over and over, asking me if I felt the beats being off. I didn't, but it's times like that where you just nod your head, try something else, and hope that that was finally the right thing. By the end of that session, I was ready to swear off the stage and dedicate my life to being a regular, boring person. After class, Casey and I went to Jewel and got ice cream and rented High School Musical 3. Nothing heals the soul like Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream and a corny Disney movie musical, geared towards ten year olds. Despite all my struggles, the performance went splendidly.

A couple of weeks ago, we had our first Friday optional workshop. It was an hour dedicated to learning musical improv. It was glorious!! The teacher was a crazy woman with big red hair who I decided would be my friend right away. We all sang and danced and made fools of ourselves and had a perfectly lovely time. My favorite part was the rap off. I know, right? For a few minutes there, I was so black I made Oprah look like Nicole Kidman. Don't judge that metaphor. Go with it. Anyway, it started as a team effort, the girls verses the guys, but then each team was told to pick their best rapper. Clearly, I was sending off a Fifty Cent vibe, since my whole team quickly turned and pointed to me. I wasn't too worried until I saw that the boys had chosen Pete. I know, right? Ok, that means nothing to you, but Pete is a very experienced improviser; one of the best in the class. I was pretty sure he was going to humiliate me and make me rethink my career as a hip hop/rap artist, but I took off my houndstooth scarf, put up my hood and threw down a few gang symbols. I may have accidentally joined the Bloods, but it was worth it. We went 7-8 rounds before I callously crushed him in front of everyone. It felt so good to beat him. He just could not compete. This will always be remembered, as the day I took down Pete! Check out those mad skills. Word. Fo' sho. I should stop now. It's just awkward and unnatural on me.

In other big news, I got to star in a national commercial for Starbucks. "Star" is the same thing as "cameo," right? Either way, I'm pretty much famous now. I was leaving class one day with a few of the girls from class and a guy stopped us on the elevator and asked if we were Second City. We told him "yes" and he asked if we would be in a Starbucks commercial for him. Since I need attention and fame the way I need air, I jumped at the chance. We all went into Starbucks and he took us over to the nice camera set up. He said I just needed to try the coffee and he would ask me questions on camera. It was then that I realized that I do not have a career in film. Apparently, the presence of a camera turns me into an infomerical host on ecstasy. "Wow! That is some darn good coffee!" That was accompanied by a big goofy grin. Luckily, I had a few good things to say after that, and of course I looked really hot, which I'm sure helped. So, they used some of my footage in two of the final commercials. You can see them for yourself at...http://starbucks.com/coffee/instantCoffee.aspx?catId=17#num=02&id=instant_coffee and
http://starbucks.com/coffee/instantCoffee.aspx?catId=17#num=03&id=instant_coffee.

When David was here, he had to go to a few different places to fulfill his cross-cultural requirements for Grace. One of the places on his list was The African American History Museum in the south part of Chicago. I don't know if you've heard of the south side, but it's not a place that most 4'11" white girls frequent. The whole time we were on the bus I kept thinking the little jingle, "Which one of these is not like the others?" We made it there safely and were only hassled once by a man carrying a black trash bag trying to sell me "Gucci," although that kind was probably spelled, "Goochi." The same night, coming home from a really hideous show we saw a gang fight, right outside the redline stop. A bunch of kids were beating the crap out of this guy in the street, that we later learned had made some comment about one of the guys' girlfriends. Since I didn't know an alternate route home, we just waited at a distance until the police arrived. I'd like to say I was brave and cool, but in all honesty, I grabbed on to David and Matt and decided if the gang ran our direction, I was going to push them in front of me and run towards Indiana. We made it home alive, our bodies and innocence in tact.

Part of the reason I haven't been faithfully blogging is that David stayed for a week and then I was in Nashville to see my dad over my spring break. I had a lovely time in Tennessee, as always. I loved spending time with my dad and my grandma, and their fabulous cooking certainly doesn't hurt. I always eat well when I'm down there. Last night for dinner, I had Spaghettios, stuffing, and Pringles. Living alone has done terrible things to my body.

Because this post is so late, I'm sure there are other things I should relay, but seriously, if you've gotten this far in this post, you must really love me. In return, I'll go ahead and wrap this up so you can get on with your normal lives. I keep thinkng of other things I could add, but I think I'll just put up a few more shorter posts this week. So check back soon. If you don't, I wouldn't blame you, but you'll just have a mess of old posts to read when you do come back, so it's up to you. Have a lovely day all! Keep on truckin'!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Teaser Trailer...Because You Deserve At Least That

Hey all. So, it's almost two in the morning, I still have to shower, and I think I'm getting sick, but you deserve something out of me. I'm not going to take the time to write out a long and witty post at the moment, BUT you will not leave my blog empty-handed, or I suppose empty-minded rather. I shall give you teaser as to what I will write about tomorrow or the day after...for real this time. So, here's what you've been missing...I've had a really rough day at class, performed my Second City scenes, won a rap off, been in a commercial, witnessed a gang fight, been to the south side of chicago ("south side" must be latin for "you're probably going to die here"),had a friend stay for a week, spent a week in Nashville, and bought new shoes. I'm sure I'll think of more...but I'm tired and ill. What more do y'all want from me?! I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. Ok. Fresh start. You and me. We're going to forget the empty promises and believe me when I tell you that the stories behind all of these events and more is coming to a blog near you...specifically this one. You won't find these stories anywhere else, and I think it we both know it would be foolish to look. Have a lovely day and check back SOON!!! Keep on truckin'!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Shopping for Fish Sticks and Obama Biographies

I hate beginning every post with, "Sorry, it's been so long..." so, I won't. How about, "I apologize for letting so much time pass between posts." Yes. I think that varies it a bit. Now on to more important things.

Here's a quick update on all the things I mentioned in my last post. The silent film scene went very well. Everyone enjoyed our bits and while I don't exactly think I have a career in silent film, I think my group did a great job. Nothing funnier than a mistaken identity, an injured waiter, and a high energy chase scene!

Remember those props I was to bring to Andy's class a couple weeks ago? Well, I ened up using a zebra clock, a tiny iron, and a stuffed pygmy goat. From those props, three characters developed; Flamer Flave, the gay rapper, La Petite french maid, and the farmer who raised only midget animals. Sound strange? That is because I go to comedy school. It's clown college without the face paint.

Since my last post, I made my first trip back to Warsaw. I had an absolutely wonderful time with all my friends, and I was so glad I got to go to David's art show. That kid is amazing and I can't wait to be his date to the Tony's when he's up for Scenic Design. Ummm. Don't tell him I said that. He doesn't know he's taking me yet.

Last week, we continued to work on our Second City sketches for Gellman's class. On Tuesday, after class, I was almost ready to give up on acting entirely. I was so nervous, I was dropping lines and completely missing reactions that could have been great comedic moments. Because that was such a horrible embarrassing failure, I worked really hard on my scripts and by Thursday, Gellman even handed me a compliment or two. Granted, he didn't exactly call me brilliant yet, but doggoneit, that man will love me by the end of this semester. He'd better not make me start singing Dreamgirls style, but I will go Effie on him if necessary.

I think I may have met my future husband at Jewel the other day. On Wednesday, I was watching TV online and a commercial for fish sticks came on. Well, it did it's job, because I started craving fish sticks something awful, so I went to Jewel after school on Thursday. As I stood in front of the fish stick wall, talking to Tim on the phone, this incredibly handsome guy walked past. He stopped about one fridge over, looking at burgers. I was telling Tim that I had gotten a text in Gellman's class, but did not text back, because I did not dare get out my cell phone in his class. Then, something magical happened. The hot guy stopped, looked at me and said, "Excuse me, but are you talking about Michael Gellman?" I almost dropped the phone. "Y...yes." I wrote it that way, because it gets across the point that I stammered like an idiot. "I took classes from him, too," he said. Completely ignoring my poor brother on the phone, I managed to spit out, "I'm in Comedy Studies." He smiled the most beautiful smile and answered, "I did Comedy Studies, too. Tell Gellman Gabe said hi." Resuming my conversation with Tim was almost impossible. I'm glad that attractive guys make me an incoherent mess. I'm sure that will help me meet men in the future. *Sigh*

In other news about my charisma and grace, I had a couple of friends from Grace visit this past weekend. I didn't know quite when their train was getting in, so I went to Borders and found a great spot in a corner windowsill to read. I was there for about an hour and a half, and while my bum hurt, I wasn't too uncomfortable. After reading for so long, I thought I'd just walk around for a bit. There were about 5 people in the aisle facing my windowsill. When I hopped up to walk away, I took a step and learned that my legs had fallen asleep. I collapsed loudly into a bookshelf. A woman asked if I was ok and told her that I was fine, and only my pride was hurt. The worst part was that I could not casually walk away as it took some time to get blood back into my legs, so I was stuck gripping onto a bookshelf for dear life. I had to pretend I was actually shopping the wall of Obama biographies. I must have looked like a drunken liberal. My father would be so proud.

Well, apparently, when I don't write for a while, I end up writing gosh awful long posts. I hope you've been attentive enough to get through it. If you have, wonderful. If you haven't, well, there's no point in scolding you, since clearly you're not reading this. It will not be that long before I post again. For real. Believe me. Check back in again soon for a nice fresh post. I'll try to be a better blogger to you all. Have a lovely day. Keep on truckin'!