Monday, February 23, 2009

Boxers Or Briefs: The Musical

My last post was February 16?! Holy crap! Where does the time go? Oh yeah, it slips away only to be forgotten, taking with it the memories of our youth. By that, I mean to say, sorry it's been awhile. I know reading my posts is one of the few things getting you through, day to day, through the boring monotony that is your life. I jest, of course. My post the the ONLY thing getting you through.

Class update first. Everything is going quite well. I'm really loving writing, and the whole class seemed to really like my last sketch. I knew I could write comedy, but I'm so excited to get introduced to a whole new world, as this is my first experience in sketch writing. Physical/Vocal trainging is fun as always, doing things such as making machines and monsters with my ensemble. It sounds crazy, but trust me; it's worth the $9000+ tuition. Acting is proving to be the most difficult at the moment, as we are memorizing classic Second City scripts. I enjoy memorization about as much as I enjoy being buried alive in a coffin full of spiders. Oh my gosh. Even typing out that sentence brought me close to tears. I beg of you; never bury me alive in a coffin full of spiders, and if you ever get the urge, just take me out for ice cream instead. That'll teach me. Anyway, my scenes are great, but I'm so scared of messing up. All I want to do is impress Gellman, and I'm afraid if I forget a line, he'll....he'll....well, he'll probably do the coffin and spider thing.

As I mentioned in my last post, Norm promised to help me learn to talk slower. He taught me a couple of tricks, but I'm still learning how to use them, so don't expect me to speak like a normal person next time you talk to me. Rome wasn't built in a day, and even if it was, talking slower is even harder than that, so give me a break. Another trick I learned was to practice talking biting down lengthwise on a pencil. It makes it harder to articulate. It really does work, but it forces me to talk in a puppet voice and drool on myself, so I won't be doing it on any dates.

I saw the fully improvised musical again, Baby Wants Candy. Tonight they took my title suggestion and performed "Boxers Or Briefs: The Musical." It was seriously hilarious. It was centered around twins, one that single handedly won the war in Iraq and a fat awkward one. They fought evil magazine editors and Paula Dean as she made chocolate-covered deep-fried ribs. A good time was had by all.

This week I have another big performance piece, my silent film scene. My partners and I are doing a fun, mistaken identity scene, where merriment and slapstick will ensue. Should be a good time. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

I suppose I should go work on my lines, amongst other homework. I have to use household props to develop three characters. I love that I can even call that homework. This truly is a wonderful place. Have a lovely day. Keep on truckin'!

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Only Difference Between Me and A Drunken Midget is Alcohol

Hey all! I suppose it's time for another update, well, not so much as time for an update, but time to do something that is not my homework. The funny thing is, it's incredibly simple work. All I have to do is write a page (double spaced) about how I would do a particular excercise differently. I'm pretty sure it will take about ten minutes, but I'd rather update you fine people. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. I said you're fine, and I meant it.

Classes are still going along splendidly. In improv we're working on audience involvment scenes, which has been a lot of fun. It's fun to just play an innocent audience member sometimes, without the pressure of having to be funny. I can just be one of the common people. Of course, I can only do that for so long. Then I need the attention back on me.

The next assigment is to bring in a piece of paper, on which we've written our biggest acting struggle. As soon as Norm gave the assignment, I knew what I was going to write. Can you guess? If you've ever spoken to me, you should definitely know it. The class is going to be guessing whose is whose, and I'm guessing it will take about .2 seconds for them to know which one's mine. I talk too fast; way too fast. I really try to slow down, but I just can't seem to slow my pace, but Norm promised he's going to help us with whatever our flaw is. If he can get me talking at a normal pace, the man would deserve an award. If you don't know what I'm talking about as far as the way I talk, think of it this way. I could read this post to you faster than you can say "auctioneer."

Our next big performance piece is "Silent Film." We will be performing them live, but in the style of silent film acting. Should be interesting. Hey! This is one exercise that I can't screw up by speaking too fast!!

On Friday, I went to a show called, "Baby Wants Candy," which is a fully improvised musical based on a title the audience gives the actors at the beginning of the show. The night I went, they took the suggestion of "Harry Potter in the Hood." It was Harry and friends against the villainous Margaret Thatcher and other key historical British leaders. Hysterical. The cast was beyond amazing. Also, on the train on the way to the show, I was entertained by three very loud drunken midgets. Only in the big city, my friends. Only in the big city.

I hope you all had a lovely Valentines Day. I know I did. I was gonna go out with some girls, but Casey had to work and everyone else had different stuff going on or was out of town. So, I did what every proud single girl does on a holiday that tells you that if you're single, you will surely die alone. I made myself and entire pizza and cake and watched "The Notebook." Don't judge. I'm still working on the cake. Oh yes. I should also mention, I spent the whole day in my underwear. It was one of those "celebrate independence, while simultaneously practice living alone" type of days. Good times.

Well, I suppose I should go write that whole page paper. Why is my life so hard? Oh, wait. I remember now. It's not hard at all. I'm living my dream in Chicago and having the absolute time of my life. Have a lovely day. Keep on truckin'!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Mrs. Buttertoast Does Vaudeville

Y'all ready for an update? Well, I sure hope so since you've spent all that time typing in the web address and everything. Thanks for taking time out of your busy life to keep up on my story. I really do appreciate your interest. That said, let's get to the good stuff, the nitty gritty, the nuts and bolts, the green eggs and ham. Hmmm. I think my metaphor got a little off track somewhere in there. Oh well.

So, at the beginning of class this week, I made a puppet for my improv class. I went a little crazy with the craft box and even had a pretty bad crafting wound. I endured an embarrassing defeat in a battle with my hot glue gun. Emphasis on the HOT. Anyway, my eccentric old lady puppet turned out fabulously and everyone loved her. I named her, Mrs. Buttertoast. That name's probably more funny if you heard the inflection with which I say it. Here's a picture to get the full effect. You can't see her hat very well in this shot, but know it was very cool.

So the other news I promised in my last post was to tell how the Vaudeville show went. Well, my girls, Mary and Casey and I worked on a number Monday night after class that we were all feeling ok, but not great about. So, that night, we texted back and forth and decided to come Tuesday with new ideas. Casey found a great 20's song online, so I bought it and brought it in on my ipod. Together, we wrote this great silent slapstick piece. It was really funny. Today, we all coordinated costumes and performed it for both groups of students and several professors. Everyone loved ours and some said it was the best act. We had such a short amount of time to put it together in, but the finished product was great.

I'm deciding more and more that I really enjoy the physical comedy. Amy Poehler once said, "Vanity is the death of comedy." I'm finding that to be very true. Once I was able to stop thinking about whether or not my hair was getting messed up, or if I looked fat, rolling around in the fetal postion, I've found I'm pretty good at physical comedy. I may not be Jim Carey yet, but dang it all, I'm trying.

Also, for you praying folk out there, pray that I find a job. I can't stay here this summer unless I can find a way to make rent. If I can't get a job, I'll have to sell eggs and plasma, and I was hoping to save those for when I need to buy groceries. I applied for another one today, so let's hope I get a call soon. I best be off to write my sketch due tomorrow. I haven't decided yet if it will be about male strippers or a dyslexic kid at a spelling bee. So much to do. Have a lovely day! Keep on truckin'!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Milk Carton Puppet Theatre

Hey all! And now for another edition of Christi's Chicago Adventure. It's been a good week at The Second City. My phone hasn't been heard in Gellman's class again, and my acting scenes have been way better. All is well.

I must say, I have been assigned the coolest homework of all time, since I've been here. For my improv class, I am to make a puppet, that will be interviewed by the prof. Most people are planning on bringing in a sock, but when have you ever known me to make anything easy? I'm making an extravagant old woman. I imagine I will be much like her in a few decades, provided I suddenly take the shape of an old milk bottle and grow googley eyes, but you get the idea. My other big assignment is to put together a Vaudeville act. We are in the Vaudeville section in history, and we learned Wednesday that we are to break up into groups and write and prepare an act to be performed for the class. It happens to be due this Wednesday. Luckily, I'm in a group with two other really amazing girls, so I'm sure we'll work it out. Oh yeah, I'm also supposed to be doing some reading, but if I didn't do it while I was at Grace, I don't see why I should start now.

Rachel Gray is visiting this weekend and I'm really excited to have her here. I'm excited to show off my town. Is it too early to call it "my town?" I should hope not. I almost got a library card the other day. I mean, that makes you pretty official, right? And no, I'm not lying. I was really gonna get a library card. Don't act so confused. They also have DVDs.

I'm off to make dinner and a sweet puppet. Have a lovely weekend everyone! Tune in next week to find out how my puppet looks and how the Vaudeville act went! Keep on truckin'!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Cindy Adams Must Die

Hey all! I'm well into the second week of classes, and I can't even begin to describe what this experience has been like for me. But I'm a writer, so I suppose I'll try. This program does not allow room for self-consciousness or stage fright. Allow me to walk you through one of today's excercieses.

Today, I had my first, "I suck," moment. Up until now, I'm not saying I've been the strongest in the class, but I've felt like I've been keeping up just fine. Today, I felt like mey work fell short. Don't take that short joke. Too easy. So today, we get to Gellman's class and he gruffly tells us to get out a piece of paper. We all thought it was gonna be a quiz on the book that he wrote, which made everyone panic, since only one person in the group had read past the forward. This may shock you, but I was not that one person. Instead, he said, "Think of a character. Not you or anyone you know. What's his/her name?" We were to fill in the answers to his questions in a column about this character. He spouted out questions such as "What religion do they follow? What car do they drive? Who do they hate?..." He left about two seconds in between each question, so we all wrote furiously, just trying to keep up. After he was done asking 25 or so questions, he told us to flip our papers over and write stream of consciousness style until he told us to stop. We were to write as that character for several minutes, but we were not allowed to let the pencil leave the page. Once we were done, he put a chair up on stage and said, "Now you're each going to perform the monologue you just wrote." He may as well have told me to bob for live electric eels. You don't want to, but you do what Gellman says. You don't question it. My character was Cindy Adams, an overachieving college cheerleader. She drove a brown mini cooper and her favorite food was strawberry ice cream. I hate her. She didn't stretch me. I could have done better.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I'm not the best at anything here. I want to be, and I'm going to try to be, but I can see I have a long way to go. I've already grown in so many ways since being in Chicago and starting classes. I'm still loving this experience, but I think I'm going to have to kick it up a notch. I've never had to work so hard to succeed. I'm sorry this is not as funny as usual. I guess this entry is coming from a place of being both frustrated and motivated.

Tonight, I get to go to a special preview show opening at Second City. It's calld Rod Blagojevich Superstar, a rock opera parody satire. I'm pretty excited. I'll have to blog tonight or tomorrow to tell y'all about it. I've gotta run to make dinner for myself before the show, but please do me favor if you would. If you run into a college cheerleader named Cindy Adams, punch her in the face. She's boring and pedestrian. Have a lovely day!